LOVE MONTH

THE LOVE MONTH ....

This is February, the "love month". Getting close to Valentine's Day ... another retailer's delight. Red and pink hearts are everywhere, not to mention the chocolate ones (yum!). Recipes in magazines show us how to tempt our true loves - both high- cal and low-cal ones. Take your choice.

It's not a bad thing, you know, to think about love. To really take a moment to stop and consider the truth and reality of love. Real love. Honest love. Truthful love.

The definition of love is, unfortunately, a tarnished definition in today's society. I think it began tarnishing back in the 60's, and went downhill from there. Oh, maybe I say "the 60's" because they were my teen and young adult years. But, then, who can really deny that "recreational sex" began back then. Well it's been around "forever", but it began in the 60's to be "accepted". "Love" began to mean "sex". It was a lie then and is still a lie. Sorry, but "sex" does NOT translate to "love"!

Sex within a loving marriage relationship (meaning one man and one woman!), is a great part of that relationship - a most satisfying way to express the love. It is not, though, the sum of the relationship; not even the most important, in my opinion, because the satisfied sexual experiences stem from understanding the true definition of love. If real love is not there, is not lived out between the married couple, as God intended, then sex has no real meaning. It DOES become purely "recreational" then. With anyone, at anytime ... or many "ones", many times. Feels good for the moment but without real love there is nothing there after the moment. Except waiting for the next moment.

My heart breaks for today's youth, so many of whom are believing the lie. They are constantly bombarded with the "sex=love" theme. We all are. Through today's music, movies, television, the internet, magazines, books.

It saddens me greatly to know that so many of our youth will never know what love really is; and that a man and a woman can actually join together in marriage, can stay married through all the ups and downs of marriage and can watch that love grow even stronger year by year. Yes! They can grow old together because they know real love. They have the real thing. They believe God's definition of love - not Hollywood's.

What is God's definition of love? In the Bible, in I Corinthians 13, in verses four through eight, the definition is found. We see what love is and what love is not. My pastor-husband recently preached on this in our church. I SO love God's definition of love:

"Love is patient, kind, doesn't envy, doesn't boast, isn't proud, isn't rude, isn't self-seeking, isn't easily angered, doesn't keep a record of wrongs, isn't happy with evil, IS happy for truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Now that's a definition of love I can stake my life on - and I have. With a man who has also staked HIS life on it. We both committed to that love when we married and are, almost forty years later, still committed to it.

I'm not saying we always, every day, live out this love-definition perfectly. We are human and we stumble. At times my love is not very patient, at times my husband's isn't. Many times, over the years, I was too easily angered. Or he was. But the "love never fails" part is true. In spite of any human failures, love never fails. Not REAL love.

While watching an Oprah show once (April 7, 2008), I quickly jotted down something she said, as she was rationalizing why she "lived together", instead of marrying her long-time "significant other". She said, "I wanted to be married so I could say to everybody, 'Look, someone loves me enough to want to marry me - then I got over that'".

Well, Oprah, someone loved ME enough to want to marry me, too - and I HAVEN'T gotten over that. I also loved HIM enough to want to marry him - and he hasn't gotten over that. Neither of us are ashamed or embarrassed to say so. We understood what real love is; and have come to understand it even more over the years of being together. We loved each other enough to sign that paper ... to stand before God and the world committing ourselves to each other - in love. In REAL love. And because it wasn't the "recreational sex" kind of love, we have lasted and will continue to last until one or both of us dies.

A man who understands real love is a treasure of a husband. Mine is. He was, and is, there through the illnesses, the surgeries. He has changed diapers, wiped up vomit, rushed a child to the emergency room. He has wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly as I sobbed through another of life's catastrophes. He has brought me beautiful flowers and wonderful fresh veggies he's grown in our garden. He has explained when I didn't understand. He has been patient when I wasn't. He has grieved with me and prayed during times of great pain and hurts. He has given me "just the right presents" (and sometimes the wrong ones!).

A perfect man? No. He, too, has his moments. He's been angry when he shouldn't have been. He's not always been patient. He can leave his socks in the living-room and spend too much time (according to me!) in his workshop. But God spoke the truth when He said, "love never fails". REAL love never fails. In spite of our imperfectness, when we understand what love really means, then we KNOW that love never fails.

So let's celebrate Valentine's Day. Let's take time to reflect on love. I am a Christian, and I love and believe in God's definition of love. Even if I weren't a Christian, though, I don't think I would find a better definition of love than God's.

Let's tell our youth that love and marriage CAN still "go together"। That, yes, you CAN love for a lifetime। Yes, you CAN stay married and grow old together। And you CAN actually enjoy doing so! Let's give our youth another version of sex, too - that it CAN be exciting and fun and warm and loving even in a marriage। (Marriage is not the dead-end of all things "fun"!) Those of us who are experiencing happy, real-love marriages need to speak up about it. We need to let our youth,especially, know that it's not just Hollywood or Oprah's versions of marriage that exists. Let's tell Oprah and Hollywood that "yes, someone loved me enough to want to marry me - and, no, I've NEVER gotten over that!"